


Of Love and Loss

by GarnetAngel21



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetAngel21/pseuds/GarnetAngel21
Summary: Lan Wangji tries to help his brother overcome his grief.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Of Love and Loss

A/N: I think that Meng Yao's death definitely affected Lan Xichen and if anyone could understand, it would be his brother. This is a simple fanfic about Lan Wangji comforting his brother. Any reviews are appreciated.  
Disclaimer : I own nothing.

It had been one whole year since the death of Jin Guangyao. It had been eleven months since Lan Xichen, the calm and kind leader of the Lan Clan, had isolated himself in a small dwelling deep within the large mountains of Gusu. It had been three months since Lan Wangji had seen his brother.

Wei Ying could see the concern written all over the cultivator's face whenever the topic about his brother came to light. His eyebrows would crease slightly, his mouth would become a thin line and it seemed as if his eyes would darken as well. It was not too far from his general, indifferent expression but it Wei Ying had learnt to differentiate between those small changes in his face. "Lan Zhan, you should go and see your brother."

Lan Wangji sighed as he stared at the tea that he had poured himself earlier. The steam rose from the porcelain cup and the warm scent drifted up to his nose. It was inviting, comforting. It was the blend his brother was fond of, which was why he was hesitant to drink it. He did not want to think too much about his brother, but it seemed that was not possible. Xichen had been there for him all his life, a practical yet kind voice that guided him when the teachings of Lan Clan could not provide him with answers. "He won't speak to me. The last time I saw him, he only sat and spoke as little as I usually do. When I mentioned Jim Guangyao, he said that he was tired and went to sleep. He doesn't want to talk about it... He doesn't want to talk to anyone." 

"You should be patient with him, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying frowned. "He is in mourning. When Jin Guangyao admitted all his evil deeds, it broke his heart. He thought he knew the man. It destroyed him even more to know it was Jin Guangyao that killed Nie Mingjue. It's not something someone can easily overcome. I think... You know, better than anyone, what it's like to grieve over someone that the world hates. "

" They were wrong to hate you. Jin Guangyao was an evil man, despite his excuses. He was greedy and relentless. Xichen knows this, he's seen it with his own eyes. It should not - "

" Lan Zhan! " Wei Ying glared at him." When you love someone, you overlook their flaws and your general response is to defend them. Even if they have done terrible things. I may not be evil like Jin Guangyao, but I am no saint. You knew this and you defended me. Please, do not think so harshly of your brother. He needs you, more than you both realize. Please go see him. "  
Lan Wan

gji frowned and stared at the tea. It had stopped steaming." Very well."

xxx

Lan Xichen sat in front of a table, his form composed and regal, but his eyes completely empty. His hair hung loose, draped across his back like a dark fountain and he stared at the cup of tea in front of him. He did not even acknowledge the man that sat across him and the silence hung between the two of them like a thick fog. 

"Brother, you cannot ignore me forever." Wangji sighed and looked at the older man. It broke his heart to see him that way. His robes were creased, his hair was loose and unkept, he was so frail and pale. His brother was a shell of his former self. Wangji hoped that Nie Mingjue's vengeful spirit continued to torture Jin Guangyao in the afterlife. The man had no idea the amount of damage he had caused, especially to those that had to live with what he had done. Jin Ling had to cope with the fact that his parents had been murdered and their deaths placed upon the shoulders of an innocent man merely because his uncle hated his father. Jiang Cheng had to live with the fact that he had wrongly blamed his adopted brother for their deaths and had even trusted Jin Guangyao to take care of Jin Ling. Xichen had to face the reality that the man he had adored since they were young had been an excellent liar and had killed so many for power. 

"Why are you here, Wangji?" Xichen said, his eyes finally resting on his brother. "Did master Wei ask you to visit?" 

Wangji's eyes showed his guilt even if his face did not. "At first, I was hesitant. However, I refuse to let this mourning consume you completely. Brother, I am here for you." 

"Uncle has given up on trying to get me to leave this place. He's very angry. He said..." A wry smile flickered across Xichen's face. "He said that we are both too much like our father."

"He isn't wrong." Wangji said. "However, I feel no shame in being compared to Father. He may not have been there for us, but he followed his heart despite what society said about him. He kept mother safe." 

Xichen looked around his chambers and frowned. "Mother stayed in a home just like this. It was her prison. I suppose this is mine now." 

"Brother, you have done nothing wrong that you need to isolate yourself this way. Jin Guangyao fooled us all. He was charming and knew exactly what to say to get people on his side. He knew you had a strong sense of justice, that you were fair and he used it to his advantage. He did many things to get you to trust him and it's only natural that you would trust the man who saved you so many times. " Wangji frowned and leaned forward slightly." Love can blind even the wisest of men. "

Xichen's hands lay in his lap and his fingers curled around the fabric of his robes." Yet Elder Brother was able to see right through him when I could not! Wangji, if I had listened to him.. Perhaps none of this would have happened. Elder Brother would still be alive, as would Jin Zixuan and Lady Jiang! Wei Wuxian would not have been blamed for everything, you would not have been made to suffer for so long. I cannot ignore the repurcussions of my foolishness. "

" Nothing will be achieved if you stay here and blame yourself either!" Wangji yelled, but immediately lowered his voice after." I'm sorry, brother. I did not mean to shout. "

" It's fine, Wangji. I know you are right... But... " Xichen bit his lip and tears ran down his pale face. He had become thinner and his cheekbones were more prominent. Dark circles hung under his eyes and he looked exhausted." It hurts, Wangji. He was a terrible person, Wangji. Yet, I miss him. I wish things could have been different. I wish I had asked him to join Lan Clan when he first came here. I could have protected him against his father's influence and he would not have been treated so unfairly... "

Wangji moved closer to his brother and clasped his hands within his own." Or he may have done exactly the same and you would have died for being an obstacle in his way. We cannot say, brother. Grief makes us think of all these things we could have done, it let's us drown in regret until we feel nothing else. I know... I know how you feel. I remember what you told me all those years ago. " He stared at his brother." Regret brings only pain, life is uncertain and the future is not set in stone. Cherish your good memories, use the bad as life lessons and live as if each day is your last. "

Xichen's eyes widened as he stared at his brother. He thought Wangji had not been listening to him at that time, but his brother had remembered everything he told him." Wangji... "

" It took me a while to understand those words, brother, but eventually I did. I still mourned Wei Ying and I did not give up searching for him, but I learnt to accept that perhaps he would not return. He would always be in my heart, but I could not drown in my own grief until I died because he never would have wanted that. Even though Jin Guangyao committed such vile deeds, I am certain his care for you was genuine. You never mocked him, hurt him or treated him any differently. You defended him until you saw his true colours and even then you did not hurt him. That was why he pushed you away when the temple was collapsing. He wanted you to live because you deserve to. "

Xichen but his lip and tried to compose himself, but he was unable to. He started to son uncontrollably and he clung onto his brother. Wangji held him within his arms and rubbed his back as the older man cried. The sobs were heart wrenching and filled with so much grief that it caused Wangji's own eyes to tear up. His brother had always been a calm man, with a soft smile on his face. He knew a part of him had died the day Jin Guangyao had died, a part that might never return fully. 

Eventually, Xichen stopped crying and wiped his face as he sat up straight. His eyes were bloodshot but he smiled kindly at his brother. It was the first true smile his brother had worn on his face in a year. "Thank you, Wangji." 

There was nothing more to say. Wangji nodded and got up to leave. He smiled thinly as he saw that his brother had begun to sip on his tea. That was a good sign. He bid farewell to his brother and left to return to his own home. It was late, but he wanted to get home as soon as possible. He stared at the stars twinkling above and sighed, but a smile tugged at his lips. "Thank you, Wei Ying."


End file.
